Finding the Word

As someone who has always considered himself a halfway decent writer, I’m having a bit of a crisis right now. I can’t find a word for something. You probably understand what I mean but let’s be clear anyways. What we are living through right now, the experiences and the odd emotions that come along with it. I’ve been looking for a word, or even a phase to help me compartmentalize this experience. To put it in a box and to help me understand.

I’ve heard people call it: “this moment,” “this Covid thing,” “this era,” and many more, I’m sure you’ve heard some yourself. But those all feel like their avoiding the problem. And I’m not sure that’s the right way to go about things. No for me, things need to be given voice and form. And that’s really quite hard. We just don’t seem to have the word. I could of course, make up a word. But I would need the correct sounds, the right letters, with just the right inflection. To make the word that I envision in my head.

But the truth is, that kind of perfect word for this just doesn’t exist right now. And it’s entirely possible it never will. And we will end up never able to fully express how everything made us feel. We will all just have to learn how to live with that.

More Updates

Hello everyone,
I hope you are all doing as well as you can giving the world we now all live in right now. I’m not very good at writing about these sorts of things. And as such I have stuck to my poetry and fiction for the time being. Perhaps maybe soon I’ll be able to write something meaningful about everything that’s been going on.

For now I have a few things to say. First my views have been going down, I’m not sure why and I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it. And I get more out of posting on this blog then just the raw catharsis that is my view count. But that does mean I need to take that into consideration when thinking about how much time I spend working on my blog and how much money I put into it as well.

For now my lowest view posts are actually my Strange Worlds. So while I will keep working on that for the book project I’ve been working on, I’ll stop posting that here. Poems are going to continue and I may even have a short story or two to post. But for now, it is what it is.

I’m probably still going to have more staggered posts for Poems. I’m doing a lot less right now, and that means less inspiration for the most part. And yes I am trying to do more positive poems and less negative ones, but that can be a struggle as well.

Thank you for your time and understanding everyone.

The Inevitable Update

I’ve been furloughed from work starting today.

And that is probably the most ominous opening sentence I’ve written in my life, fiction and poetry included. It really is a scary time, but I’m staying calm and doing all the things that I feel like I should be doing.

I intend to start a daily schedule to keep my sanity and be prepared should I get another job or be called back to the old one. Who knows if that’s even possible at this point. But we seem to live in unprecedented times, so who knows.

I intend to keep updating this blog, I’m just not really sure with what at this point. My more depressing writing project, Lost Sun, is being put on hold. I think I want to keep working on Strange Worlds. But if that becomes my main writing project I may not want to keep posting that story here. But I’m just not sure, I’m going to be trying to keep my writing habits strong in any case.

As for details, I don’t really have any, I was staying home still sick and expecting to return to work next week on Monday. When I got the email from work telling me that they didn’t have anything for me to do and that I should return my work-phone and badge.

Sorry this blog post lacked my usual flair, but I’m also using this to update my family and friends as well.

Until we meet again.

Update: Things have not gone well.

Hello everyone,

Unfortunately I am ending my Lenten meditation poem spree early. As well as my abstinence from social media. Can you guess why? Yup its Covid-19 aka carona virus. I came down with cold like symptoms last week and have been forced to stay home from work. The symptoms are not that bad. But some of the worry and the stress has taken it’s toll on me and trying to maintain this blog has fallen by the wayside for right now. It’s strange–I have plenty of time to write–but I have not been able to get my motivation going enough to keep up with the daily posting schedule I had planned.

So while I do intend to post as I come up with things to post. From now until I can get my act together there are not going to be any guaranteed posts, on any guaranteed schedule.

Thanks for your understanding everyone.

Wandering Thoughts 2/21/2020

So I’ve been fighting with myself about something for a long time. Namely should I start a second blog for my fiction and let this blog just be a poetry blog. Honestly it’s a much harder question then you would think. There are so many things to consider, and it’s not like I’m a big blogger with thousands of followers who can start a second blog and have a good number of people follow me there. What will actually probably happen is I will be shrinking my install base on each blog. And popularity is a huge part of how your site shows up on search results.

But having a more clear purpose for my blog would be nice instead of having the “whatever I want” kind of blog I have right now. While this is mostly a creative writing blog even then there are some things that I post here that don’t fall under that already broad category. And I’m thinking of adding even more kinds of posts that might not so easily fall under that category.

But the thing I keep coming back to is the cost. Free blogs are nice and all but to have a lot of control over a wordpress sight you need a subscription plan. Which is per site not per user, meaning the perks I have for paying doesn’t cross over to any other blogs I might make. That’s a real hit for someone who isn’t making any money on this endeavor. I could always just run a second free site, but then I feel like I wouldn’t come up as much in web-searches.

Maybe I’m thinking to much about this. But for now I think I’m going to stick with the one blog. Life is far to short to be losing sleep over something this trivial, and one website is clearly easier to run then two.

Oh boy this is like the third time I’ve felt the need to justify having a blog called Wandering Poems where I also post things that are not poems–even though nobody asked. I need to get more sleep.

Until next time everyone.

And Now for Something Different

It’s shameless plug time, my wife Ashley just launched her etsy store. If your in to hand made geeky crafts you will want to check this out. And who knows you may want to check this out anyways. She’ll be adding more stuff as she get’s a chance so feel free to check back latter if you don’t see something you like.
The website is: https://www.etsy.com/shop/Ashstillmakesthings
Tomorrow I’ll go back to my usual fair. See you then everyone.

Wandering Thoughts 2/7/2020: Oh No It’s Friday

For some reason I can never understand I always think I’m going to be more efficient on Friday then I actually end up being. I think of all the writing projects and different errands I have to do and then put it off for Friday. After all I can stay up as late as I want on Friday, after all I can go to the store without feeling like it’s a waste of time. I can go to the gym without feeling like I’m going to be way to burned out the next day. It’s Friday, it doesn’t matter.

But Saturday is a day too, and it’s one I probably shouldn’t be sleeping through. No matter what I tell myself having a healthy and relaxing weekend is important. But sleeping all day becomes I burned myself out on Friday probably isn’t a good idea. But on the other hand treating Friday like just another weekday probably isn’t a good idea either.

Part of the issue is my introvertedness interacting with my Autism in all the worst ways. It took me a long time to realize that going into public and interacting with people was something I found exhausting. And that can include something as simple and benign as going to the store and picking up a few things. And I still have to make a dentists appointment to but the thought of having to call them and make the appointment, and then going in and talking to people who I don’t know is just draining for me.

The correct answer to this problem is obvious of course–don’t put everything off until Friday. If I spend time on another weekday working on some of the things I put off until Friday I’m going to feel a lot better about what I do have to get done over the weekend and probably be a lot more efficient about it. But it’s easy to say that’s something I’m going to do, actually pulling it off is another matter altogether.

Oh well, for now it’s Friday, so maybe I’ll worry about it next week. See you all then….

Wandering Thoughts 1/28/20: 200 in 2020

While delirious from fever last week I hit the 200 posts made on my blog benchmark. It just really sucks that it was a post as pointless as my sickness update post to let everyone know that I was alive but not posting because I couldn’t even manage to stare at a florescent screen for more then 10 minuets without feeling like I was going to fall over backwards in my chair. two-hundred posts seems like a really big deal considering I’m dedicated to poetry and fiction and I’ve been aiming for a relatively consistent posting schedule since the inception of this blog.

I was actually reminded of when I first started blogging way back after collage, believe it or not I started with tumblr. Thinking about it I should try to dig up my old tumblr account and see if I can connect this blog with that one. I used to spend a lot of time looking at pointless stuff on tumblr. But there was some stuff that scared me away back in 2017 and I have not looked at it since. Who knows you may be redding this on tumblr by the time I publish this.

And I’ve been writing poetry since early high-school, I wish I could say I’ve had a longer writing history. But early high-school is as far back as it goes, Autism and Dyslexia really kept me from getting off the ground in terms of writing.

But with 200 posts under my belt here’s hoping I can manage 200 more. Until next time everyone.

Wandering Thoughts 1/8/2020

Note: This is my first time trying my Wandering Thoughts format. Everything about this is subject to change.

Coming up with a good way to manage time without cutting off the oxygen to my creativity has been one of the most challenging things about adult life. As it turns out though, what I’m doing with that time is far more important than how much I’m doing.

Maybe it’s the odd combination of Autism and ADHD, but I can hold down multiple streams of thought at once. As long as I am not talking to someone, or thinking about talking to someone. That takes my full and undivided attention, and if I’m thinking, or pondering anything else I can’t actually hear anything being said to me–much to my wife’s frustration.

When I worked in customer service at Whole Foods I would find myself exhausted and unable to manage my time at all. The constant human interaction put me in a cycle of burn out and then work again. If I wanted to get any writing done I ended up taking time off for that just so I could overcome the time I needed to recover from that burnout.

Now that I work in an office environment though I have the time and the energy to not only get all my work done–but to also keep some of my creative ideas going in the background. This has been amazing for my productivity as it assures I won’t get to board with a task at work, and also means I will plenty of things to write the next time I get a chance to do that.

That’s all for now, see everyone next time.