Finding the Word

As someone who has always considered himself a halfway decent writer, I’m having a bit of a crisis right now. I can’t find a word for something. You probably understand what I mean but let’s be clear anyways. What we are living through right now, the experiences and the odd emotions that come along with it. I’ve been looking for a word, or even a phase to help me compartmentalize this experience. To put it in a box and to help me understand.

I’ve heard people call it: “this moment,” “this Covid thing,” “this era,” and many more, I’m sure you’ve heard some yourself. But those all feel like their avoiding the problem. And I’m not sure that’s the right way to go about things. No for me, things need to be given voice and form. And that’s really quite hard. We just don’t seem to have the word. I could of course, make up a word. But I would need the correct sounds, the right letters, with just the right inflection. To make the word that I envision in my head.

But the truth is, that kind of perfect word for this just doesn’t exist right now. And it’s entirely possible it never will. And we will end up never able to fully express how everything made us feel. We will all just have to learn how to live with that.

Words from the Road, Realization

There was a day that I started to think I had done nothing of worth.
Nothing that would have any meaning once I’d left the earth.
I spent many sleepless nights wondering about what to do.
To make it so my life had meaning when everything was done.

But I didn’t have a single skill that could help me,
Not one I could use to make or change this world in some way.
I’d spent all my life reading, about journeys past.
And so the only solution I could come to was to leave my home,
To find some meaning, somewhere.