My Curse

It is not lost on me,
All the meanings I lost,
When I chose as my medium,
These words on a page.

Limited by the sound,
And the meaning humans can derive,
Limited by the pixels,
That form every single vowel,
And letter otherwise untamed,
By orders name.

I’ll probably wrestle with these letters,
For as long as I draw breath.
And if possible,
Even after.
My curse,
And my only test.

Wandering Thoughts 1/8/2020

Note: This is my first time trying my Wandering Thoughts format. Everything about this is subject to change.

Coming up with a good way to manage time without cutting off the oxygen to my creativity has been one of the most challenging things about adult life. As it turns out though, what I’m doing with that time is far more important than how much I’m doing.

Maybe it’s the odd combination of Autism and ADHD, but I can hold down multiple streams of thought at once. As long as I am not talking to someone, or thinking about talking to someone. That takes my full and undivided attention, and if I’m thinking, or pondering anything else I can’t actually hear anything being said to me–much to my wife’s frustration.

When I worked in customer service at Whole Foods I would find myself exhausted and unable to manage my time at all. The constant human interaction put me in a cycle of burn out and then work again. If I wanted to get any writing done I ended up taking time off for that just so I could overcome the time I needed to recover from that burnout.

Now that I work in an office environment though I have the time and the energy to not only get all my work done–but to also keep some of my creative ideas going in the background. This has been amazing for my productivity as it assures I won’t get to board with a task at work, and also means I will plenty of things to write the next time I get a chance to do that.

That’s all for now, see everyone next time.

2020

Hello everyone, the 2020 memes are showing up on Facebook and Reddit so it must be 2020. Mind you the first memes of the new decade have not been hopeful but that’s a different topic for a different time. There are going to be some changes to the blog coming now that the new year is upon us. And I wanted to take a moment to let everyone know what’s coming.

Firstly the blog journals are going the way of the dinosaur. They put too much presser on me and I ended up not doing them because of the stress–classic issue. So instead I’m going to be writing smaller blog updates that will include some of the same stuff I put in my blog journals. But there is not necessarily going to be any consultancy.

Despite the above change I’ve decided I want to post more. Doing that is going to take some work though. I’m going to be adding a few different kinds of posts. The first kind of new posts is going to be called Wandering Thoughts–where I just kind of write about whatever is on my mind. What I say in these posts shouldn’t be taken as any kind of gospel since most of them are just going to be passing thoughts and nothing more. But it should be fun and it will get me more practice with writing.

Next, there are some changes going on with the big fiction project I have been working on for this Blog. I can’t seem to make up my mind what kind of project I want to do for this blog in terms of fiction even though I know I want to do one. So it may be a bit before you see any more long form fiction from me. But that is something that I want to do and I will be posting some episodic stories here on this blog at some point this year.

That’s all for now, I hope 2020 is treating you well.

2019 Reflection

So 2019 is coming to it’s inevitable end and honestly I’m not sure how to feel about that. I had intended to write a poem. But with everything that has happened this year both personally and in the world at large I’m not really sure where to start.

So here is my overall reflection on 2019: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Whew, glad I got that out of my system. In truth 2019 has been a really stressful year, I got a promotion at work which has been a lot more work then I thought it would be. The political situation has only gotten more crazy and polarized. And a lot of the fandoms I’m apart of have started to become polarized as well. I’ve even had to leave some of those communities for the sake of my mental health.

But the end of one opportunity is the start of another. So I’m trying to look at this as an opportunity to have more time to play other video games and work on other projects like my writing.

And as long as we’re on the topic of projects I’ll be carrying over some of my projects to 2020. I’ve been working on another book called Lost Sun and that’s been coming along nicely. I hope to have that done by this time next year–but one never knows how long a writing project is going to take.

I’ve also been working on my own table top rpg and I’ve been really excited about that. Though that’s been a little harder then I thought it would be. But I’ve been determined to get that up and running.

And last but not lest my “Worlds” Project that I’m going to be posting more of here. That’s something that I’ve been looking forward to working on. But I’ve been having a bit of a hard time coming up with good idea’s for it. I hope to tell you more about this particular project in 2020 once I’ve gotten the details hammered down.

On a more personal note I’ve been having a lot of fun with Table Top RPGs this year and I’m finally starting to read more as well. So I hope that next year brings more fun personal changes as well. I keep thinking that I might actually be able to get to my video game back log as well. But who knows how 2020 is going to play out. Not me that’s for sure.

See everyone in 2020.