It’s time

So now it’s time to meet again,
A story will unfold,
A truth once thought forgotten,
Will soon change the world.

Hope once thought a meaningless phrase,
Will bring about some change.
And some will fight against it,
But we will change just the same.

Finding a New Path as a Writer

Here’s something you might find interesting, I’ve written a book. I haven’t gotten it published, I did try of course but there was a lot working against me, including my lack of social skills and inability to sell myself as any sort of skilled individual. I did some research into publishing after my failures and found out some frustrating things. The most frustrating is that a first book is supposed to be “put in a drawer” and then never heard or thought about again while I work on my second book which of course will be superior in every way.

Yeah right, that all sounds like high and mighty garbage to me, excuses written by kool-aid drinking pompous publishers who sit around talking about the art of writing in absolutes, as though there is only one obviously correct way to do things–or at lest that was my knee jerk reaction.

Oddly, I’ve never been the kind of person who does things the way everyone else does, heck I’m so untrendy I sound at least ten years older then I actually am with how out of sync I am with pop culture. But for some reason I’d always bought into the standard path that a writer must take, and I don’t know why. You know what I’m talking about right? Get a book published, maybe write a few articles, and then win an award or something. It all sound very easy when your listening to a story about someone else success.

None of this should have bothered me, and heck, maybe it wouldn’t have bothered me save for one issue. I had changed my story to be more appealing to publishers. I had added in artistic elements that I might not have even bothered with had I just been writing the story with no thoughts of publishing in my head, and honestly writing that book was miserable.

I’ve never been able to fully figure out why I was so unhappy writing that story. It could very easily have been a combination of factors. But when it came time to try and get my book published I–Just didn’t want to think about it anymore. The thing I thought would make me happy, had somehow made me unhappy. And I had to start thinking about why this was and what I needed to change.

After going through a time where I wasn’t really writing much of anything I decided that I needed to find a new path, a new path for me as a writer. And I had learned that the traditional way of writing, and the traditional way of publishing made me unhappy and just plain frustrated. And there’s an old truth that came to mind, don’t buy stock in a company you don’t belive in.

So I started this blog, I started posted poetry that I had saved up across, many years of writing. I had always hoped that I might get my poems published in a collection or someplace important. But I wasn’t really sure that I believed that was the correct way to do things anymore.

And then I started writing and posting stories on here, including NEXUS Monsters (Don’t worry I intend to write more about the inspiration and reason behind that story soon as well). And I’ve started to experiment with poems that tell stories in interesting ways as well. And the best part is I’m happy with what I’ve been writing and how I’ve been writing it, I’ve let go of any expectations of being published and am more then happy to just have my stuff posted somewhere on the internet. I no longer care about how my poems and stories might appeal to a wider audience, I can write for me, and it’s been a blast so far, even when things have’t worked out, or when I’ve run into issues.

Now none of this is to say that my path and your path need to be the same. Heck–the more traditional publishing path may be the perfect one for you, it clearly is for a lot of people. And now that I’m out of the way and not competing for a publishers attention it might give you more of a chance in the futuer, who knows.

If there’s one thing I’ve taken from all of this is that we should never be afraid to look for new ways of doing things, Even when it seems like we’ve hit a dead end we just have to back up and try to find another way forward. But that’s just what I think….

About My Strange Fiction

I was once told that my poetry was amazing but my fiction sounded like it was a Saterday morning cartoon. I probably should have been insulted, but honestly my love for poetry is matched only by my live of cartoons and animation in general.

My tastes have always been eclectic, but my matto has always been; have fun while writing. If something stops being fun its hard for me to finish, or even get enough motivation to think about finishing.

As a result I like to write thoughtful poetry, I view much of my poetry as philosophical, my meditations on the world around me and how my mind interacts with said surroundings.

But my fiction is always about what makes me happy. What I find, fun, and cool to write. And as someone who grew up in the late 1990s and 2000s much of what I feel makes entertaining fiction is the same things that made me fall in live with shows like Pokemon, Digimon, Transformers, Dragon Ball Z, and other cartoons from that era. In some sense I never really grew up, I still like to keep up with the latest cartoons and video games, many of which are for an audience much younger then me.

So in some sense I’ve never really grown up–but I feel as though in other ways I’m one of the few people who have. I don’t hate things just because it’s cool to, and I refuse to see something just because it’s the “it” thing to see. I read the Gane of Thrones books, but I have yet to see the show due to time constraints. And honestly…I’m not really sure I’m missing much. I love Star Wars, and Law and Order, and plenty of other “normal” things.

But when I use my imagination to try and write some kind of story, I always seem to rewind to a ten year old kid who thinks; “wouldn’t it be cool to go on an adventure with monsters, and magic.” And so that’s what I end up writing.

Now, part of me feels like I’m makeing excuses. I’m about to post some episodic stories here on this blog that some people are going to call childish. And when thay happens and they ask me why I’m going to point them to this article. But I also wanted to spend some time thinking about the strange dichotomy of my writing.

Now as for this blog, the reason I don’t have separate a blog for my fiction has mostly to do with money. I pay for this domain and paying for a second one that’s probably only going to have a few followers seems like a waste of time.

But there is a second reason–a lot of my fiction helps to inspire my poetry, even when it doesn’t seem like it. Character poetry, and poems about the history and setting of the world is something I do all the time. And I like to be able to tag what poems go into what setting.

Now, would I ever consider separating my fiction into a separate blog. I’d never rule it out, but there would have to be some benefit for me, and honestly, right now there just isn’t.

Anyways this has all gone on long enough, my basic point is that I have two very different styles of writing that have always existed side by side, dispite how different they are. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing. But those are just my rambling thoughts….

The Odd Emotion of Anger

I have a question for you–and I say that knowing full well that the limited nature of this medium means that I’m not actually going to be able to get immediate feedback. Do you like being angry?

That isn’t ment to be any kind of rhetorical question, or some sort of philosophical long game where you find out at the end of this article that I had some kind ulterior motive for even asking you that kind of question. No, I ask because I’m starting to think that maybe I’m alone in hating the feeling I get when my rage surfaces. There are many times in my life where I’ve dealt with anger, in that at least, I know I’m not alone. So I’ve started to develop coping mechanisms and ways to avoid situations where I would normally get angry. I’ve developed ways to calm myself so when I do get angry I can calm myself quickly and also so it doesn’t impact my day and the people around me.

I would call all of this healthy–except I’ve noticed that where I’ve learned to avoid anger a large portion of the population seems to relish in it. Rage, and it’s politically inclined cousin outrage seem to be–well–all the rage these days. Turn on the news and you will find someone getting angry, go online, and you will also probably find someone getting angry about something.

I had to cut myself off from an online video game forum for a little bit because people have rather strong opinions and they are not open to changing their minds about anything. And everything seems to be something to get angry about, everything new learned about a upcoming video game. And other people getting angry and telling me that I’m a stupid for having a different opinion than them–well–makes me angry. And I just really hate that feeling, it doesn’t make me excited for the newest video game release, it doesn’t make me feel like I’m valued or contributing to a conversation. So I’m takeing a break from those forums.

So full confession time, this article started out as an article about how it’s ok and even healthy to turn off the news sometimes. Don’t get me wrong it is important to stay informed but there is a balance to be had and some day’s it’s better to catch up later than expose ones self to something that’s going to make the rest of the day suck. That’s what I wanted to write about today, is finding that balance. But as odd as it sounds the more I thought about my own anger and the anger of the people I hear about every day about the many different thing there are to get angry about, the more I wondered, do people enjoy this emotion?

Is it like fear, where some people seek out the thrill of that raising heart rate? If that’s the case and anger is an emotional need, or want for some people then we should start treating it like the need or desire for fear. With fear we clearly mark what things are for people seeking fear. So those people can find it and others can avoid it. Fear has its own genre of movie and video games, horror. Fear has special places where one can go to feel fear, like haunted houses. But anger doesn’t–so people seeking anger must mingle with those who want nothing to do with that emotion.

But those are just my thoughts….